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tnjcass wrote:
I am experiencing a bit of a mind f**k contemplating this show. Since DD is a proponent of Twelve Step treatment, will he attempt that methodology on the sex addicts? One of the main principles of Twelve Step is total abstinence. If one returns to drinking/drugging, etc, one not only returns to active addiction, one picks up from the same point he/she was at when they initially stopped. There is no moderation in the Twelve Step world, so by going to PRC, are the shows participants indicating a willingness to give up sex completely? If an alcoholic picks up one drink, he is back on the path to jails, institutions and death, does the same apply to "sex addicts"? And if not, why not?

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From what I understand the sex therapist is there to actually help direct the treatment precisely because it's emotionally unhealthy (and unrealistic) to abstain from a normal biological urge.

Well, I'm going to have to part the ways just a little bit with you ms. Sara. Although I've agreed with you on 99% of what you said, this one, not as much.

What gives you sexual gratification, is what does it for you. Where that comes from or why it works isn't nearly as important. I think recovery is about being honest, open, communicative and respectful. Especially to yourself. If S&M or whatever is your preference; I say, so be it. If you have good boundaries, are not using sex to dissociate, control, manipulate, or abuse; consenting adults it's fine. (To me). It's about using and abusing not the mode or action.

forgive me Eviler, I agree with you.  If s&m gives you sexual gratification and it is in the context of coming from an emotionally healthy place, that is the key.  I apologize for not being clearer

You said : I think recovery is about being honest, open, communicative and respectful.

You are absolutely correct.  The big Book of AA states that recovery is possible as long as one has the ability to be completely honest. 

Thank you. I have no experience with 12 step programs or addiction treatment per se. So I'm glad my life experience & CBT goes well with the established methods of recovery.  I hope that this program and the message board as well, answers people's questions, reduces stigma and gets people the help that they need.

I never self identified as an "addict" but realized through introspection of my sexual acting out that I was "using" in a way that was unhealthy to me and disrespectful to others.

I am much much better, but I have to constantly be aware of stressors and situations that cause me to lean toward impulsivity.

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tnjcass wrote:
I am experiencing a bit of a mind f**k contemplating this show. Since DD is a proponent of Twelve Step treatment, will he attempt that methodology on the sex addicts? One of the main principles of Twelve Step is total abstinence. If one returns to drinking/drugging, etc, one not only returns to active addiction, one picks up from the same point he/she was at when they initially stopped. There is no moderation in the Twelve Step world, so by going to PRC, are the shows participants indicating a willingness to give up sex completely? If an alcoholic picks up one drink, he is back on the path to jails, institutions and death, does the same apply to "sex addicts"? And if not, why not?

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"Sober", for a sex addict, means either abstinence or one partner (some insist on spouse), no masterbation.

Like with OA, you can still do it, but only under prescribed conditions.

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saradbs wrote:

The big Book of AA states that recovery is possible as long as one has the ability to be completely honest. 

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A lot of con men talk about honesty, it's a selling point.

Actually, in Sex Addicts Anon, Sex and Love Addicts Anon, and Sexual Compulsives Anon each addict is given the opportunity to discover / define what sobriety is for themselves.  Only Sexaholics Anon has a fellowship-wide definition of sobriety, which pretty much fits the statement above.

For most, the goal is a healthy sexuality, not abstinence, although a lot of sponsors recommend an initial period of abstinence (30 to 90 days).  One of the reasons for that is that it usually underscores that the addict can't "stop this any time I really want to".  Another is that most sexual addicts have a cycle of behaviors and the initial abstinence should be at least a couple of cycles long.  Finally, it's good to have the actually knowledge that nothing will drop off from disuse...